Friday, November 27, 2015

The Feel Beautiful Project | Choosing Happiness

At times I feel most beautiful when I'm being a mom, hair pulled back and not a lick of makeup on. And while I love writing about beauty products and techniques that can help you achieve a certain look on the outside, I believe it's important to also share the ways I make myself feel beautiful on the inside in case you're struggling with a specific insecurity or self-esteem in general.

Being a mom teaches me the importance of choices, whether I'm making choices of my own or teaching Liem about the consequences of his. I strongly believe in living with intent and being deliberate with our choices to lead the lives we want, meaning if you lack self-confidence and want to feel better about yourself, you must make the conscious decision and put forth the effort to do something about it. Happiness and self-confidence aren't things that simply fall into your lap or happen overnight.

A lot of people ask me how I emerged on the other end of divorce seemingly unscathed and self-esteem still intact. But truth is, if you told me three years ago when I first separated from Liem's dad that there was a light at the end of the tunnel or that I would feel worthy again, I wouldn't believe you, which is to say, it was a process.

Building happiness and self-love is a process.

What I once believed would be my "happily ever after," well, didn't turn out to be. And there was a huge lesson in that for me:

There is no happily ever after.

I don't mean happiness doesn't exist or cannot be achieved. It certainly can be. But "happily ever after" implies that happiness is the end point, the last page in the book, and I don't necessarily believe that to be true. What I do believe is that happiness and self-love is an ongoing process, a cycle, one that probably lasts our entire lifetime, one that we must feel out and re-learn over and over again, every single day.

I cannot say it enough: we choose happiness. Each and every day we choose it. Or, we don't. And we must live with whatever decision we make. Stand by it with integrity.

Today, I challenge you to choose happiness and practice self-love by paying yourself a compliment that doesn't have to do with the way you look. Here's mine:

While I've learned there are times it's necessary to speak up to assert myself, I am inherently soft-spoken, and I like that. For the longest time, I was self-conscious about not being talkative, but now I accept and embrace my tendency to wait and choose my words carefully before jumping to talk.

What's yours?

xo Sc

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